Cracked Couples
by IggyLuv333
Summary: What are we supposed to do? Turn into humans?" Miki asked, sarcasm thick in her voice. What she didn't know was how that innocent question would be the start of craziness, chaos, and some unexpected relationships. The true defintions of crack couples.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Shugo Chara, Pepto Bismol, or any of the other licensed things in this... well it _is _a plot filled sensible story.... (It's just screwed up. ^^;)

**Warning:** Excessive reading of this may induce seizures, drooling, excessive giggling, upset stomach, diarrhea, Pepto Bismol woo!

**A/N: **This may be a CRACK story but it WILL have a plot and WILL make... remote sense. It's not just random crap. However it is... um... well... strange. An idea I got while reading a Shugo Chara talk show thing where Tadase went gaga over Ran because she looked like Amulet Heart. ^^; So this came to mind. To be honest I support none of these crack couplings (well Tadase x Ran kinda...) and I made this just for amusement. However real couplings will come into play eventually but... crack is the main point. It is NOT one shots and HAS a plot. Oh, and Yoru NEVER disappeared. Everything else happened except that. Anyways, enjoy.

**Couplings (because I know your wondering): **Tadase x Ran, Miki x Ikuto, Suu x Kairi, Dia x Nagihiko, Kukai x Utau (they ARE cannon), and non-crack couples such as Kiseki x Ran, Yoru x Miki, Musashi x Suu, Dia x Rhythm, Amu x Ikuto, Amu x Tadase, Yaya x Kairi, and Rima x Nagihiko. Other couples may be added.

And so we begin our journey of stupidity...

**Cracked Couples**

_**A Chara's Lament**_

There they were, in their owners room, exhausted as hell, ready to rant. A pinkette wearing a heart, a blue haired girl adorning a spade, a blonde fashioning a clover, and a orange haired girl styling a diamond. Put through the tortures of an egotistical king, a demonic six year old, a tricky devil, and a confusing owner these girl were none other than Ran, Miki, Suu, and Dia.

"I'm... so.. TIRED!" the pinkette wailed. Ran had had to about 150 push-ups thanks to Kiseki because of her lateness to the Royal Garden that day. Distracted by a caterpillar she came in about a half-an-hour late. "UNACCEPTABLE" in Kiseki's words and he put the hyperactive girl through more exercise than even _she _could handle.

"I would have rather endured Kiseki than Ami-chan and her dress-up games..." the artist muttered. She had stayed home today as the "sacrifice" as Ran so kindly put it. 6 hours of none stop dress-up for the poor girl. Make-up, dresses, modeling, all the things Miki hated with a burning passion. She was _**not **_girly. Not a tomboy but sure as hell not girly. So in her eyes, this was WORSE!

"Desu... Iru-chan was MEAN to me all day..." Suu murmured. The devil herself had decided to have a little fun with the cook. She tripped her, hit her, pranked her, maimed her, and at one point tried to _broil _her. And all Suu did was murmur "Desu.." each time. The blonde hated her niceness at times like this, and knew one day she would rise up and seek her revenge!

Dia sighed. "Yeah well, try dealing with Amu-chan all day, then we'll see whose tired..." Dia said. She had spent the day with her pink headed owner, who had practically driven her to insanity. Amu herself was the crazy one, with all her yelling, blushing, tripping, fighting and what-not. She got to have full blown Amu the whole day. No wonder the singer was at her breaking point...

"I've decided, being a chara STINKS!" Ran exclaimed. Her sisters gave her an odd look, motioning her to continue.

"You see, we always have to be freaking selfless! Always giving Amu-chan what she wants, helping Kiseki's world domination plan, helping fight X-eggs, giving our owners powers, all for nothing except death! We will ALL die soon because our owners finding their true selves and for what?! We never accomplished anything... Hell, Dia's been living in her egg for almost all of her life! IT'S NOT FAIR! I want a life..." Ran ranted. Miki, Suu, and Dia thought about it and had to agree. When would they get the chance to live for _themselves_?

"Well, it's like that for all charas. That's our purpose~desu," Suu reasoned.

"Well it sure is a suckish purpose..." Ran muttered, not liking the way her future seemed to be panning out.

"Well, what are we supposed to do? Turn into humans?" Miki asked, sarcasm thick in her voice.

Ran's face shot up at Miki's sudden "suggestion".

"THAT'S IT! MIKI YOU'RE A GENIUS!" Ran exclaimed getting bewildered looks from the other girls.

"Thanks, now why am I a genius?" Miki asked looking at her sister like she had lost her mind.

"We'll turn into humans!!!" the cheerleader decreed. Miki, Suu, and Dia's jaws dropped now _convinced_ that their sister had lost her mind.

"Um, I don't know if you know this or not but we can't just TURN into humans~desu!" Suu said, staring at the pinkette who had clearly gone crazy.

"Well, duh!" she said earning even more confused glances from her friends.

"Miki can create a potion that will turn us human," she said happily. Miki was stunned by her sudden statement.

"You expect me to invent a potion to turn us HUMAN?!" she exclaimed. Ran nodded, grinning, and having total confidence in her blue haired sister.

"No. I can't do that. Infact, why do_ I_ have to to it? Why not you, Dia, or Suu, huh?" the artist asked.

"YOU HAVE TO MIKI! You've said it yourself, _you're _the smart one! Come on, just TRY!" Ran exclaimed. Miki sweatdropped, she knew the "smart" comment would one day come back to bite her in the ass.

"W-well, just because I'm smart doesn't mean I'm a witch! I can't just do magic, make a potion, and turn us human!" Miki exclaimed.

"Yes you can! It's just like the days of Miki's laboratory, except if you screw up this time it may kill us!" Ran cheered happily making Miki feel even more nervous.

"B-but-" the blue wearing girl began but was quickly cut off by the girl in yellow.

"No 'buts' Miki! You need to at least try! Ran's right, and if you can make our lives easier, you had better not hold back!" Dia decreed. A day of Amu had caught up to her and she was ready to take her anger out the poor artist.

"Bu-" Miki tried to protest again but was cut off AGAIN by Suu.

"Yeah~desu! At least try Miki, it wouldn't hurt to try~desu." Suu exclaimed. Miki just helplessly attempted resistance once more.

"B-" She was cut off quickly by Ran.

"Come on Miki! You can do it! SAVE US PLEASE!" the pinkette cheer/begged. They were pathetic. Miki let out a small whimper knowing she was out numbered. She sighed, knowing the pain her sisters would put her through if she didn't give in.

"FINE! BUT WHEN I FAIL, YOU HAD BETTER NOT GET MAD AT ME!" The artist shouted. Ran laughed continuing her cheer and Miki frowned, not liking the turn of events. Why did they make _her _do everything?!

Getting up from her spot on Amu's dresser, Miki floated out of the room knowing she would need supplies for the little experiment she would have to do. Her friends watched her fly away as they talked about what they might do if they did become humans. What they didn't understand was the immense pressure she felt, and her own desire to have a better life.

Well, just _trying _couldn't hurt, could it?

* * *

It was 3:00 am, Ran, Suu, Dia, and Amu were asleep, and Miki was _obsessing _over her project. She wanted it, needed it, deserved it! She could taste the success of waking up human, could feel the victory of having a normal life, could smell the triumph of having preformed the biggest scientific discovery since E=MC2. Too bad she couldn't get there.

She had tried and failed about a million different experiments at this point. She had gotten so desperate that at one point she even Googled "How to turn a chara human". The results were all about this weird show named "Shugo Chara" something she didn't know or care about. It was probably stupid anyways.

All she could think about at this point was victory. What at first seemed like something to humor Ran had become immensely important to Miki. However hard she tried though, she couldn't even get to the first step of the experiment.

She probably would have started crying at this point if it weren't totally out-of-character for her. She let her head fall onto Amu's desk, where she had set up her little lab. She felt the tiredness of a long day catching up with her, and the agony of defeat. About ready to give up, thoughts came rushing into her mind.

"_I failed. Not surprising but... what would it be like if I could be human? If I could have fun, freedom, responsibility? Most people see me as a light character, cute or whatever because I'm a chara. But I want to have MORE than just that. Ran is right, Amu-chan doesn't need us anymore, I'll have to disappear soon as it is. But I don't want to go yet, there is still so much I haven't done... I just wish..."_

She raised her head. She thought back to the time when she was first born, HOW she was first born. Amu's Guardian Angel. The angel of which she descend from. Miki thought and thought about that time, when finally she did the extreme, closed her eyes, clasped her hands together, and prayed.

"_Shugo Rai-sama, I have a small wish to ask of you. I am sorry if this sounds selfish, but I would like to be able to be human. Even if it's just for a bit, the other charas and really need it. I want to experience being human, having friends, falling in love, maybe I could even better help Amu-chan that way. Please..."_

She finally let her feelings out. She opened her eyes, seeing her surroundings unchanged, and sighed. She lowered her head back onto the desk finally letting sleep consume her. She had the small satisfaction in knowing she at least tried, harder than Ran or anyone expected. Drifting into her own pleasant dreams about whatever fantasy with her crushes, not knowing what to expect or what was to come. All she knew was that she tried.

* * *

The sun was shining in, it's golden rays engulfing the rest of nature in it's warmth. Birds could be heard chirping their pleasant little tune, and the Saturday morning was bright. Everything was waking up, including Hinamori Amu who was currently sleeping in her bed like the innocent little child she pretended to be.

Four other bodies were scattered around the room, one happening to be hunched over on Amu's desk. This particular one however, had seemed to be waking up first.

"Ohayo..." Miki muttered sleepily. She rubbed her eyes, feeling a bit of pain in her neck. She looked down to see she had fallen asleep on top of the desk. But wait, she had fallen asleep on TOP of the desk so why was only her head on the desk while the rest of her was in the chair? And since when was she tall enough to stretch from the floor to the desk?!

Miki shook off the strangeness of the desk thing and proceeded to fly over to Amu-chan to wake her up. However when she jumped up to fly she ended up falling flat on the floor.

"Ouch..." she muttered not knowing why her face had connected with the floor. First she was taller and now she couldn't fly? What was going on...

As she got up (rubbing her hurt face) she noticed that not only was she tall enough to reach the desk, she was tall enough to be below Amu's height. She looked around the room bewildered (and slightly happy) with her discovery of height. Just then she noted that in replacement of where the four chara eggs should be there was an empty dresser-top. And there were three girls on the floor, all asleep that matched the looks of her sisters. Except human. And kinda dead-looking.

Miki kicked Ran, as if checking her aliveness. Ran just groaned and rolled over. They were dead asleep. And not to mention, human! Miki stared at them in shock and slowly turned around to face Amu's mirror, shock being the operative word in this girls body. Instead of seeing the normal, three inch tall, chibi like Miki, she saw a similar looking girl in her place.

Instead there was a girl, who appeared to be around 13, with Miki's shade of blue hair, however her hair reached down to waist, about the same length as Utau's. She had the same bang cut though. This girl also had Miki's blue eyes, which were staring back at her in shock and fear. She was very pretty, very petite as well, around Rima's height. Thin for sure. She was much better developed than Amu was, by far. She had cream colored skin and was very tense looking. It took Miki quite a few moments to realize she and this girl were the same person.

When this realization struck Miki's shock turned into panic. A small and loud scream escaped the girls lips, piercing through the household. Miki wasn't much for screaming but this wasn't a usual circumstance. Amu shot up, wondering where the horrific sound came from and noticed a strange girl in front of her mirror, screaming. Amu was... very confused to say the least.

"W-Who are you?!" Amu exclaimed. Miki turned around to face her, fear still protruding her face. Amu then noticed that the girl looked familiar, kind of like...

"M-Miki?!" she screamed. Miki nodded.

"Miki... You're human!"


End file.
